PCs - Reiju

[fefellocaelum]

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Week 0 (Post-Trial); Shared Room

[fefellocaelum]

[Today has made a surprisingly good case for just holing herself up in her room and never exiting it ever again, Amaya surmises. Unfortunate that they need food to survive, along with everyone else. Ugh.

Amaya has always been the sort to stay away from her room unless it's to sleep, truthfully; she's only in here because she's hoping to evade the rest of them, but Amaya's fully prepared to simply see if she can take a breather in the shared living space before retiring and--

...Oh. It would seem the woman who also lives here is...here, alright. Amaya has at least tried to be decent during their brief encounters, though she's coming in with a half opened bottle of Jack Daniels and a teacup stolen from somewhere, she...does bow her head toward Reiju, who probably caught her stormy look.]

...My apologies, Miss Reiju. I did not realize you also retired back here this evening. Do you...wish to be alone?

[venomnom]

[For the most part, their paths haven't crossed too much. Neither of them seems to linger in their shared room for long for reasons of her own, but, after hours on a forced investigation with all manner of suggestions and ideas, it's little wonder that they'd retire at roughly the same time.

Reiju offers Amaya the same courteous smile as usual.]

No, I'm all right.

[Privacy isn't something she necessarily craves.]

Today was rather eventful, wasn't it? If you'd like the room to yourself, I can go.

[fefellocaelum]

...No, it is fine. This is just as much your room, as it is mine.

[Amaya...pauses for a moment, truthfully. A part of her doesn't like the idea of talking about this. A part of her doesn't want to make her opinions known, but she...

...She still doesn't want to be alone.]

It...truly was something eventful, yes. I still do not know how I feel about any of what transpired today.

...Is it the same for you?

[venomnom]

[She can hardly blame Amaya for feeling that way. In the end, everything boiled down to each individual's words and beliefs. Very little of the overall situation was concrete.

For Reiju, it was fairly typical as a result.]

Everyone has their own idea of what's just. It's part of why men go to war.

[fefellocaelum]

...You are not incorrect. Much of the place I come from is in a circumstance like that, so I am not unused to such things, myself.

[Reiju seems so...calm. So assured. It's strange, but it's also enviable, really.

...]

Is it...wrong, that I'm sort of angry with everyone, Ms. Reiju? I know not if it is right to do so. While I certainly see their arguments for wishing to spare Mr. Giyuu, it's...

...Mr. Beryl, no matter who he was...he was still a person too.

[venomnom]

[What a loaded question—delicate, too. Emotions are such sensitive things, particularly where life is concerned. Reiju is, in many ways, anything but.]

I can't say what's right, but it's not wrong to feel emotions. Were you hoping for a fair punishment?

[Naturally, what's fair varies between them.]

[fefellocaelum]

[Truthfully, that makes two of them.]

...I did not want to speak it at the trial, what with everyone...rather delicate about the subject at hand. Their hearts clearly bled for Mr. Giyuu, and I did not want to sound heartless; as much as I wanted to believe this was a matter of self defense, his statements wore and wore at such an alibi. I wonder if Mr. Beryl truly deserved what came to him.

But...I was, all be told. Eye for an eye is how most matters have always been settled in Quercetem; cruel as it may have been to bring it up and with everything so uncertain, I do not blame them for wanting to go for a more merciful option, even if it felt undeserved.

[...]

Turning him into a puppet, however...as someone who as lived essentially as one for a good portion of her life, I fear we're damning him potentially to a fate worse than death. He doesn't deserve that.

[venomnom]

[It's a bit peculiar. She's not saying wildly out of the ordinary, but the focal point is different from Reiju's norm—especially once the part about puppets comes out.]

Half-hearted kindness only leads to more suffering.

[Amaya is right. There are many fates worse than death; making a doll out of somebody is one of them. An execution would be ruthless, but cleaner and more final.]

The truth is we won't know what either of them deserved. But we were the ones who cast the vote, so it can't be brushed aside that easily.

[fefellocaelum]

No, it cannot. Whatever happens tomorrow is what we will have to deal with.

[Amaya pauses a bit. Reiju is right, that half-hearted kindness just leads to suffering, but...they really will never know the truth of what happened to Beryl, honestly. It's strange. It sucks. It's...

It's causing feelings that Amaya doesn't like.]

I truly do hope they don't go with something so...inhumane, though. Even if we do not know all of the details.

...Thank you for hearing me prattle on.

[venomnom]

[Without knowing exactly what'll happen tomorrow, any assurance she can give here will be half-baked, so she doesn't.]

Of course. This is your room: You should be able to speak your mind.

[Reiju won't judge. She won't say anything beyond these walls, either. Amaya's piece is hers to share.]

Everyone seems willing to listen at the least.

[fefellocaelum]

...It is just as much yours, you know, Miss Reiju. Really, I barely even stay here, I...

[It feels strange, having real things that are hers. Even if it's only temporary, Amaya never allows herself to take too much for herself. Her room is a room in the attic of a leftover church. Her things are either gifts from Aneirin or something she has made for herself. This is...]

...I really don't know much about you, truly, but...you carry an admirable strength about you. Something I wish I could emulate, all be told.

[venomnom]

[Her smile widens.]

Thank you.

I don't think it's necessary to wish for that, though. We all have different ideas of what strength looks like.

[fefellocaelum]

I suppose so, but... [Amaya pauses, considering.] ...I do not know. You carry yourself in the way that I think a leader should; you're not like my father, nor like...me, I suppose.

[Amaya shakes her head a bit, though.]

I've had to find my own way by sort of...blindly crawling through the dark, all be told. I still do not think I am good at it, though I want to be, for my people.

...And for you all, here. I should try to be an example.

[venomnom]

[She tilts her head. An example? They're all practically strangers.]

Are you a ruler of some kind?

[fefellocaelum]

...Not exactly by choice, but yes. I lead Fefello Caelum; a...rather small village nestled into Quercetem's forests. I take care of my people and ensure that they are always safe from the various monsters that plague the forests around us.

[venomnom]

[So she's something like the chief or a mayor. It's not surprising that they'd be roomed together like this, then.]

If it wasn't by choice, is it a position that decides its successors based on certain qualities?

[fefellocaelum]

Oh, not at all; it's...far simpler than that, actually.

My retainer and I had to strike out a living on our own, at one point when I was younger; we...built a small hovel for ourselves, essentially, and began to learn to take care of ourselves to survive. People fleeing from other countries, they saw what we could do in both battle and in survival, and they...decided to live alongside us, seeking protection.

...We didn't have the heart to turn them away. I suppose it would be closer to the latter, if anything.

[venomnom]

Is that why you feel responsible for everyone here?

[To worry about an eye for an eye and how she presents before others the way she does, she has to care. Maybe it's become second nature after being put into those situations for so long.]

[fefellocaelum]

...At least in part, yes. I do want to see to it that as many of us as possible make it out of here alive, after all.

[...She really is so obvious about it, isn't she.]

But...yes. I am used to watching over others, and that my actions carry weight. It is...why I try to restrain myself, as much as possible.

[venomnom]

[If she didn't have to, what sort of words would tumble out of her mouth? Would she be simply free or a tyrant?]

It must be exhausting. Most people crave control, but they don't have much self-control themselves.

[fefellocaelum]

[A mystery for the ages that none will ever solve because Amaya refuses to step out of her cage--]

...A touch, I will not deny. It is why I try to exercise restraint, as much as I can.

[to her detriment, mostly, but hey! she tries!!]

But the people have put their faith in me, and I cannot find it in my heart to leave them high and dry.

[venomnom]

[It's definitely to her detriment. Repression can become second nature over time, but it usually comes at a cost.]

You must be worried about them, being here instead of with them.

[fefellocaelum]

...I will not deny that I am. There's...truly, even if my retainer can keep peace for a time, he and I have both discussed this extensively, and it's why I rarely leave the territory we share; he does not have the capacity to be a leader.

But I cannot allow that to let my mind wander; doing such a thing would only lead to rash decisions. And in a situation like this, caution is the truest friend you can have...at least I think.

...Besides that, I...want to get as many of us out of here as possible. Alive. We all have people who miss us, that we must return to.

[venomnom]

Yes, you're right. We're all needed elsewhere, so we'll have to be careful.

[Whether that's a friend or not remains to be seen, but it's definitely the smart course of action.]

Still, it's not a bad idea to let yourself relax from time to time.

[fefellocaelum]

[...]

I...don't really let myself relax very much; I've never really been allowed the opportunity.

[case and point: all of the roomba-esque cleaning she was doing--]

...Is there really a way to let one's self relax, even in a place like this? That seems the opposite of wise...

[venomnom]

[Sit down, girl, please.]

Isn't this relaxing? Talking to others is a good way to learn more about each other while staying alert.

[fefellocaelum]

[have you considered: no,,,]

...I...

[Amaya looks like a woman staring at calculus for a moment as she considers that question.]

...Most people do not usually like to, and those who do I usually prefer listening to. I've...never actually considered that.